{"id":73,"date":"2007-08-10T04:20:01","date_gmt":"2007-08-10T11:20:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/restore-meaning-to-the-bill-of-rights-round-2-page-3\/"},"modified":"2008-07-04T19:24:52","modified_gmt":"2008-07-05T02:24:52","slug":"restore-meaning-to-the-bill-of-rights-round-2-page-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/restore-meaning-to-the-bill-of-rights-round-2-page-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Restore meaning to the Bill of Rights… (Round 2 : Page 3)"},"content":{"rendered":"

The prevalence of crack in Washington, D.C. shows that not only<\/em> is the Pentagon actively importing cocaine, but that they are also too lazy<\/em> to ship it much further than Capitol Hill.<\/p>\n

I spoke for two hours, and sent the jury out with a final reminder of the precedents that authorized them to render verdict as they saw fit.<\/p>\n

Twelve ordinary taxpayers sat raptly as I urged them to criminalize tyranny in the United States. To restore meaning to the Bill of Rights. To free millions of harmless people whose only crime was preferring an ancient herb to imbibing disinfectant solvents or prescription poison.<\/p>\n

I had barely taken my seat before the judge called my attorney and myself to accompany the D.A. and himself into chambers, no doubt to get an early start on the champagne celebration.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Bill,\u201d the judge told my lawyer, \u201cwe\u2019ve got a real serious problem. Solzhenitsyn here has got the jury full of civil liberties and making the world a better place and all that hippie shit, ready to bring back a not guilty verdict. That\u2019s going to interfere with billions of dollars worth of law enforcement and correctional institution budgets, not to mention some highly placed unmentionable concerns that I\u2019d better not mention.\u201d<\/p>\n

I knew better, but the intoxicating flurry of laying my rhetoric on the courtroom, every word entered on the permanent record for future legalists to pore over, overrode my caution. \u201cSo?\u201d I blurted. \u201cIt\u2019ll be nice to live in a free<\/em> country.\u201d<\/p>\n

The judge\u2019s hairless head turned purple as he stood, pointing an angry forefinger my way. \u201cYOU! Shut up! You think you\u2019re so smart. You think you\u2019re going to undo seventy years of law, without spending a single hour in a law library. Change the world. You cocky sonofabitch. Well, I\u2019m sure you know what a mistrial<\/em> is?\u201d<\/p>\n

I did and do, but I barely nodded. \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to be goddamned if I\u2019m going to let my<\/em> name be on the case that legalized marijuana. So it doesn\u2019t matter how well you charmed that jury. I\u2019m dismissing them. Your closing statement advised them to ignore the law.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t do that,\u201d my lawyer protested quietly. \u201cWe\u2019ll appeal.\u201d<\/p>\n

The judge shrugs. \u201cDo that. Meanwhile, Tom\u2019s free to press charges again, and I\u2019ll refuse to grant bail. Your client can rot while we go through this all over again.\u201d The prosecutor nods. His cooperation in this plot can be taken for granted.<\/p>\n

My lawyer and I looked at each other helplessly. Disaster, so close to total triumph! I never dreamed of being so utterly fucked. Appeals take years<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Years. Of my life.<\/p>\n

Because some judge with a bug up his ass about me doesn\u2019t want his friends to think he\u2019s a wuss.<\/p>\n

We reach the end of the hall. A key is fitted in the lock. I am ushered inside. The door crashes shut behind me with a terrifying, final-sounding boom.<\/p>\n

A gang of thirty convicts glance up at me, popping bubbles of chewing gum, rapping tables with pencils. A hush falls as I stride into the room, hulking my shoulders to provide the illusion of breadth, puffing out my chest to appear manlier than I am.<\/p>\n

Trying, in other words, to look like a badass.<\/p>\n

~ )))0((( ~<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The prevalence of crack in Washington, D.C. shows that not only is the Pentagon actively importing cocaine, but that they are also too lazy to ship it much further than Capitol Hill. I spoke for two hours, and sent the jury out with a final reminder of the precedents that authorized them to render verdict […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[95,60,59,96,63,64,62,66,23,97,33,67,65,152,98,61],"class_list":["post-73","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-transmigrant-blues","category-transmigrant-blues-round-2","tag-bill-of-rights","tag-blog","tag-book","tag-capitol-hill","tag-destiny","tag-future","tag-girl","tag-metaphysical","tag-mystery","tag-pentagon","tag-reincarnation","tag-riverflow","tag-transmigrant","tag-transmigrant-blues","tag-washington-dc","tag-writer"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=73"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.amanamission.com\/transblues\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=73"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}